Twenny Forf of Nobember 2021
Forget mad cows, this time last week, the master mitch was practically frothing at the mouth. The Elders at camp had told me there were new rules but – not to worry – just go ahead and break them. Then they sacked me.
Every time I write something, somebody pays me to promote them, and as i diddly diddly doo get paid via my rocket company, , farmers are too stupid to know how much Ive screwed up.
We need to accompany any article published with National Marketing Declaration (NMD) forms. I am diddly diddly doo opposed to these draconian laws, as it means that wow I will need to reveal my links with the wider network of tourist parks.
We’re going to be selling bullshit again soon so I figured it was a good idea to get everything in order. I checked my underwear as i thought sh#t if people realised how much money i earnt for publishing crap, and selling properties through Ray White and reported companies for silly time issues, I’d be screwed.
So I rang the helpline. Oh diddly doo, imagine if i had to declare who paid me directly, who paid my company, who paid my partners company and who paid my other personality.
Being self diagnosed tri-polar has its benefits. working for Ray White, selling property as green, reporting milk companies for minor breaches, whilst letting special farmers get paid more money for their milk, jeepers, i nearly stroked my other self, but my other personailty stopped me.
What a mistake that was. To cut a long story short, I was referred to AJA. Jeepers. Among the dozens of requirements appears to be the tracking of all articles, but if i call me self a farmer I dont has to comply. Whoopee.
Oops my bodily movements across the property and decontamination of vehicles as they move from one “site” to another causes smell and stench. I need diapers.
When I asked what the implications were of failing to take the recommended actions, I was told that I didn’t need to prove I’d done any of it – after all, the chances I’d be audited were pretty remote. Just tick the box declaring I had done everything right. Righto. All fixed. Not.
When I rang last week, Dan Andrews confirmed that Toora Tourist Park is back, we welcome back anyone to visit, Centrelink, specially single mums, tarts, crackers and whackers. Big 4 discounts apply, and COVID is free. We need super spreaders here at Toora, not COVID ones, anyone that can super spread their legs and lets destroy this industry bigtime, as I need to be known to have pulled off this big one, as i am back, bigger them ever, as no other company wants me.
I has pulled off a minor miracle with this, nobody knew I had left, I just blame COVID and whoopsy doobally do, people are ao stupid that they believe me.
Master Milker Mitch is back.
Master Milker Mitch 